Effective Listeners! Crucial advice for all of us to follow

(My beautiful bride forwarded this email to me….. hmmm, I wonder if she is trying to teach me. I think all could benefit from this crucial advice)

If you were asked “Who taught you how to speak, read, and write?” you’d probably be able to list a whole series of people who helped you develop those important and much used communication skills. But what if the question was: “Who taught you how to listen?” If you’re like most people, the answer would be “no one.” That’s truly ironic because, on average, listening is the part of communication we engage in the most (40% listening, 35% speaking, 16% reading, 9% writing), and it’s the one for which we typically receive the least training. Therefore, it’s the form of communication that most of us are least proficient at … a critical leadership skill that too often is ignored.

So, why do we pay so little attention to listening? Two reasons: 1) We assume that because we hear well, we also listen well. But that’s not necessarily true. Hearing is the mechanical (physiological) function of receiving sounds. Listening, however, is an interpretive function which involves turning those sounds into meaning. The two are very different. 2) We see listening as a passive rather than active activity. And in today’s fast-pace, quick-fix, take charge business environment, being passive is viewed as being weak. But wrong again! Effective listening is an active process that requires skill, discipline, and practice.

What can you do to be become a better listener? Here are just four of the many simple and effective tips:

Fight the urge to interrupt or finish a person’s sentence.
Tell yourself, “This is the most interesting thing I’ve ever heard!”
React with facial expressions, head nods, and posture to indicate you’re processing what you are being told.
Wait until the person finishes speaking, then say, “Here’s what I think you said.” Summarize. Then ask, “Did I get that right?”
Make a commitment to start trying these tips TODAY. They will make a positive difference for you. Are you listening?